Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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