is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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