I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
