i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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