Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
