no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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