too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
