uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
