dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
