if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
