Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
