i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
