I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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