If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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