First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
