I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
soo... how was my night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
