She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
