I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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