Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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