I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
