well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
