Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
