Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
