Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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