Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
