Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
