I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
