I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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