I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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