You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
