she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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