um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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