Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I touched a dick in church today
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
