ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I deserve this hangover.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
