Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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