In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
