Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
