A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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