And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
