So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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