If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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