theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
