Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
