Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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