Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
