okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
