his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
