My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
