You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
