Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
