sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
