I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
