Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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