p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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